The global economy is collapsing. Now, here's sports!
Beyonce now wants to be known as "Sasha Fierce". No wonder the world is in a panic. I don't even know how to feel about this...I'm kinda dismayed and a little worried about the future.
The American Space Tourist and video game designer, Richard Garriott, returned to Earth today. Imagine spending $30 million to be able to fly into space. You'd think he'd just design a flight simulation game and keep the money. Then again, if he had invested any, it'd probably be gone by now...thanks to the global panic over Beyonce's name change.
Boston.com has a little photo gallery of famous gravestones (hopefully this is because Halloween is near...). One of the "famous" grave sites belongs to Barney Hill, Jr. No relation to Benny. Mr. & Mrs. Hill made national news by claiming they were abducted by aliens in NH's White Mountains in 1961. Had nothing to do with the fact they were an interracial couple in the 60's. Also, Ed Warren, the investigator of the Amityville Horror case is buried in CT. That's kinda cool.
Tom Cruise will roast Matt Lauer at the Friar's Club. Another jaw-breaking yawn.
Sarah Palin denies receiving approximately $150k in donations...in the form of designer clothes. Seriously. I mean, even though I'm all for bashing deserving politicians...this is ridiculous. I hope she did receive the clothing. I hope she comes around and confirms she did. And I hope she models them for Joe O. Really, though: leave...Sarah...ALONE!! ::sob sob::
Oil prices are (finally) tumbling. But OPEC really liked having amazingly huge profits, so they cut oil production by 1.5 million barrels. Prices dropped by 5% regardless. HA! Take THAT, OPEC. We'll show you.
Sigh.
Sony delays the release of a new videogame due to offensive soundtrack music. The offensive track in "Little Big Planet" contains passages from the Qur'an. That'll learn ya not to make this game available for the Xbox360. Instant Karma's gonna git choo.
The Rays have tied up the World Series with Philly, 1-1. All I want to know is why they're no longer called the Devil Rays. Other than that, my interest ends there.
Have a weekend,
Joe
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That video game stuff is crazy. It was brought to Sony's attention by a Muslim PS3 gamer. We were outed by one of our own. That sucks. Well, at least all the PS3s aren't crashing at the rate of the Xbox 360. The cursed "red ring of death" is eating Microsoft's lunch.
Can't deny the red ring of death...that happened to us. MS was amazing at replacing the unit, but you're totally right: it's costing them a ton.
That being said, I love the 360, despite that particular problem. We also have a Wii, and that is a totally different gaming experience. I still find myself playing the 360 more, albeit very rarely these days...!!
The conversation here at Cynics online has been a bit ... unexciting. In an effort to liven things up, I offer the following cynical view of Democrats, which I received from a friend of mine. What do y'all think?
I'm voting democrat because Barbara Walters is my idol and so is P. Diddy.
I'm voting Democrat because English has no place being the official language in America .
I'm voting Democrat because I'd rather pay $4 for a gallon of gas than allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America .
I'm voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could.
I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq , I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they'll think we're a good and decent country.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe people who can't tell us if it will rain in two or three days, can now tell us the polar ice caps will
disappear in ten years if I don't start riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my tires to proper levels.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be allowed to make profits. Businesses should just break even and give the rest to the government so politicians and bureaucrats can redistribute the money the way they think it should be redistributed.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe guns, and not the people misusing them, are the cause of crimes and killings.
I'm voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or me, I know the government can respond faster through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand.
I'm voting Democrat because oil companies' 5% profit on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just fine.
I'm voting Democrat because the same teacher that didn't teach my child to read can reasonably educate them about sex.
I'm voting Democrat because my trial lawyer's crippling multi-million dollar lawsuits against doctors, hospitals, drug companies, and HMO's will make health insurance and medicine much more affordable.
I'm voting Democrat because Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and Jesse Jackson will end racism once and for all.
I'm voting Democrat because Christians in the Republican Party are intolerant, theocratic warmongers and atheists like William Ayers have never hurt anybody.
I'm voting Democrat so that no family member of mine will die in a hospital bed. They will still be waiting in line socialized medicine, so they will never actually make it into a hospital bed.
I'm voting Democrat because I like eminent domain and big business and government kicking me out of my home and taking my land.
I'm voting Democrat because everyone knows that raising taxes at the top won't hurt people at the bottom.
I'm voting Democrat because protecting barren land is more important than energy independence.
I'm voting Democrat because my college professor told me that America is evil and should give up its place in the world.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that Cuba , Russia , and China should be on the United Nations Human Rights Council.
I am voting Democrat because I believe in change; although I don't know WHAT the change will be, or HOW it will happen, AND I am pretty sure that I won't WANT to actually change anything I do, but still....I believe in change.
I'm voting Democrat because the government knows how to raise children better than parents do.
I'm voting Democrat because I want the rich to work harder, give me their money, and pay for my services so I don't have to.
I'm voting Democrat because I don't give to charity or do volunteer work and then I complain about how selfish everyone else is.
I'm voting Democrat because I've seen welfare help so many poor people become self-sufficient and upwardly mobile.
I'm voting Democrat because I'm not driven enough to realize my dreams without the government holding my hand the entire way.
I'm voting Democrat because I want America to be Europe 's prosthetic limb.
I'm voting Democrat because I think we all should be equal...equally unhappy and unsuccessful.
I'm voting Democrat because I like hearing the word 'Change' 50 million times in presidential debate, seeing the word on celebrities' t-shirts and bags, on signs outside of million dollar houses, and know that the only change that is going to happen is that I'm going to work 40 hours a week and not even see a penny of my paycheck because taxes will go through the roof!!! YAY!!!!
I'm voting Democrat because I like how democrats can cause financial crises' like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and have the temerity to blame them on Republicans.
I am voting Democrat since I believe those who are lazy, druggies, high school drop outs, etc. should be entitled to the money I wake up every morning and work my ass off to make!
I’m voting democrat because it's the COOL thing to do. I'm hip and in the majority.
I’m voting Democrat because I listen to and believe all the celebrities/actors who so passionately want Obama to win because I can't think for myself at all. The same celebrities who WE make rich because we GO SEE their movies and watch their T.V. shows put millions of dollars into their pockets! but...these multi-million dollar celebs are so disheartened by AMERICAN ways and the capitalistic economy we have and the world will come to and end if another Republican comes into office .
I'm voting Democrat because I'm a dumbass .
I'm voting Democrat because of the War on Terror. We have not been attacked once since Sept. 11, 2001, and that was caused by Bill Clinton, but I still don't feel safe.
I'm voting Democrat because communist economics always work. Look how well off the Soviet Union is right now. That wall in Berlin has never looked better.
I'm voting Democrat because I agree with Joe Biden, that it really is patriotic to pay more taxes. So I'm going to pay a 'direct tax.' Instead of wasting time giving it to the government for redistribution, I will give my money to derelicts who loiter outside of liquor stores and methadone clinics. That's where it ends up anyway.
YES WE CAN ... screw up this country like never before.
Good to have you back, Cheryl. Sorry this isn't too exciting for you.
"YES WE CAN screw up this country like never before."
Yes. Thank GOD we had George W. Bush in the White House leading our country to greatness over the last 8 years. I can't wait for John McCain to continue Bush's legacy. I'm simply beside myself.
Can we have a ruling on cutting/pasting something that long? I don't have time to read all that.
BTW: I'm going to vote Democrat because I didn't have time to change my registration BACK to Republican after having changed it to Democrat prior to the last Presidential election when I realized that G.W.Bush is a moron who let D. Cheney and K. Rove run us into not just 1 war but 2, count 'em 2 wars - 1 in Iraq and 1 in Afghanistan.
“Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it”.
--Francis, Duc de La Rochefoucauld
Didn't anyone in Washington pay attention to when Russia invaded/occupied Afghanistan?
BTW...
The true way to be deceived is to think oneself more knowing than others.
What a relief Nov 5th will be.
You ever notice that the French for horse is "cheval". Just like the French, to have a different word for everything.
Yeah, that was a bit much. Could have been summed up with: "you're a moron if you vote Democrat. Signed, the all-knowing Republican party".
But then, that wouldn't be exciting. Cause you know, things here have been so unexciting.
awww now you're just being peevish
Isn't this Peeves Online? Is that more exciting than Cynics Online?
Oh I love Peeves and Wooster. Did you read the one where W steals the cow creamer? Classic.
Yeah, it was a long cut-and-paste job, but it it covers such a broad range of topics, I didn't know which ones to jettison. Some of my favorites are: "I'm voting democrat because Barbara Walters is my idol and so is P. Diddy."; "I'm voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could."; "I'm voting Democrat because my college professor told me that America is evil and should give up its place in the world."; and "I’m voting democrat because it's the COOL thing to do. I'm hip and in the majority."
I'm a registered Republican, simply because the philosophy of the Republican Party more closely adheres to what the US Gov't should do: uphold the Constitution. There is, however, a huge discrepancy between what the Republican Party professes and what many of its members actually do once they get in office.
Amen to that!
yeah it was a bit of a long comment but funny.
i'm not voting for obama for many reasons a few of which are: i don't trust him on taxes, i don't trust him on defense, i don't want nationalized health care, i don't want to be friends with the rest of the world plus i don't want any of his supreme court nominations to get approved. plus with a senate/house and pres all democrat we will be in some hot water. anyone remember cater and his administration?
yep can live with out that. not saying mccain is a hell of a lot better but at least he knows what to do with a military.
.bully
Today's news: Republican John McCain promised to pivot from President Bush's economic policies and impose strict controls on government spending that would spur investor confidence and the stock market's recovery.
Now, if he would just say that he would completely separate himself from the Bush Administration's policies, especially the Iraq war (I'm still for the war against terror), then he'd have my vote.
McCain has my vote simply because he is the lesser of two evils. (I probably mean that both figuratively and literally.)
I'm writing in Pink. See other blog post. LOL
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