Tuesday, July 22, 2008

For My 40th Birthday, I Want Fish to Eat My Feet

Evidently, there's a type of pedicure treatment that involves putting your feet into a wading pool-style fish tank and having little garra rufa (called "Doctor Fish") nibble away at your feetsies.

I would love to try this out. I think it's a novel idea to have the carp relatives get a taste for human skin and then be set loose in the wild...only to hunt the only food they've ever known. Get them to crossbreed with the Clarias batrachus (called "Walking Catfish") and you have yourselves the making of a tremendous horror flick.

Of course, I would have to sign a waiver that would say I am not financially responsible for the damage my hobbit feet would cause these little fishies' digestive systems. One bite and they'd be begging (can't you picture little fish begging?) for fish food.

The photo attached shows a customer reading a magazine. That magazine must be the most fascinating periodical ever to have existed if it would attract attention away from watching little fish snacks on her feet. Either that, or this type of treatment is totally normal or mundane for this customer. Wow...time to cut back on the prozaic. You have FISH eating the skin cells on YOUR FEET. Seriously, what could be more interesting? Ok, perhaps there are more interesting concepts...but name one that's in the same room with you and hundreds of little hungry fish looking for foot a la mode?

Anyway, if anyone's looking for a neat gift idea for someone that has everything...consider giving them a coupon to be a fish meal.

4 comments:

Sparkle Plenty said...

Hilarious and very creepy! What happens when a Rogue "Doctor Fish"/garra rufa union activist starts gettin' the nibblers agitated and they get a little too enthusiastic about their work? YEAH! There's definitely the makins' of an outstanding horror movie here, even without the walking catfish* crossbreeding.

*I've loved the "Walking Catfish" ever since I went to a museum in Florida w/a sad little exhibit about 'em. There was this one line: "And in response to man's encroachment, the Walking Catfish retreated into the wilderness..." Now whenever I think of 'em, I keep seeing a little cartoon catfish, wearing a homburg hat and carrying a suitcase, stalking off into the Everglades and casting a baleful look back at civilization over his shoulder...

mulderjoe said...

BAH HA HA HAAA!

Now I will forever have that same image of the walking catfish.

What if the "Doctor Fish" crossbred with Piranha? It'd be like Doctor Donna!

(for those of you scratching your heads over "Doctor Donna", you'll understand when you watch the last episode of Season 4 of Doctor Who. And you'll watch...oh yes you will...)

Sarah said...

I saw this on GMA or some other dumb morning "news" show.

That would be weird, I have fish and even they find this insulting work.

Kathy said...

sorry. you're def NOT getting this for your big 4 OH. I was thinking of getting you an ood. But not just ANY ood...one with red eyes.

(doctordonna indeed)