Thursday, January 15, 2009

I am not Doris Day all Day every Day

I am an executive assistant for a biotech company, and so I provide "customer service" for everyone I support. If you saw me at work, I would have a smile on my face, a willingness to help, and a kind word of encouragment for everyone. I know some of my colleagues think I'm a goodie two shoes and that I "cater" to my team because I smile a lot and hardly ever say anything negative about anybody. Someone at work actually called me Doris Day because like her character's typical persona, I can come off as happy and perky and care free. Que sera sera and all that.

OK. I admit that I am the type of person who likes to get along with everybody. I play well with others. I am the middle kid in my family and have always been the one to try to make peace with my other sisters, just to stop the fighting. I don't like the stress of it.

That does not mean I am a ditzy Doris. In fact, if these people could read my mind...whooo wheee would they be surprised. I could give a flyin fig about these cocky sonsabeeches. Do they really think I just love to hear their stupid stories about how great their trip to Basel was and which expensive restaurant they ate at? I could care less about the new regulatory matters that have come up and it's a good thing he was on top of the game and caught it in time. I don't give a crap which board member thinks he is more important than the others and so all the board meetings must be arranged to suit his schedule. My immediate boss is a big old crabapple who has nothing good to say about anybody or anything, and she's the director of HUMAN RESOURCES. Yeah sure, a real people person, she is. NOT.

And what's up with these so called executives who can't seem to perform simple tasks? Oh no, the bowl which usually holds packets of sweetner is empty and although I know where the supplies are I can't seem to bend down, open the cupboard and get more packets to refill the bowl. Help! Help! The copier is out of paper and even though there is a big box of paper right next to the machine, I can't figure out how to put more in and get it to work. The shredder is jammed with paper because I tried to shred 100 pages all at once even though there is a sign up which clearly states you should only shred 25 pages at a time. WTF?!!? What is it...the more intellectual you become, the less practical sense you retain???

Not very nice of me, is it? Maybe one day they'll see my true colors, but then again, I'm pretty good at staying off the radar so I think I'll just smile instead. After all, the economy isn't so hot anymore...at least that's what the word on the street is.

7 comments:

mulderjoe said...

Yes, there seems to be a direct correlation with very smart to no common sense. I'm not sure why that is, but I've seen it so many times it's basically a truism.

I'm certainly not Doris Day at work. I was like that at my last job and was walked all over. Never again.

Sparkle Plenty said...

Sparks515: You delight me! I identify with all you say, and I've been there, filling that frickin' bowl or machine with whatever it needs. Well said.

Ya know, I'm not convinced the executives you describe are very smart and common-sense deprived (i.e., have AMPS--Absent Minded Professor Syndrome). Often, execs are merely very powerful and very lazy, with a strong sense of entitlement. Many do not care to find out how things work. Some jovially feign helplessness. Some just think they'd lower themselves if they took care of that stuff. (Not meant to sound bitter--this is just based on extensive research I conducted when I was a temp, many years ago. The only way to get through it sometimes is to pretend you're the executive's Jane Goodall. "Greybeard seems grumpy today. He seems to be trying to take over the group, with little success, and Angie in Typing has rejected his mating displays.)

Joe: Sometimes, the more you give to a job, the more your employers expect you to give, and the less you're appreciated. It's an effed-up equation, but quite common in the business world, eh?

Sarah said...

I don't even think that they are necessarily smart, like you said it's just lazyness. I have NO idea how you can call yourself a manager, but not know or understand in the slightest what the people below you do.

HOW DO YOU MANAGE WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOW?!?! If our "Managers knew half of the things that we put up with, make work arounds for, deal with I bet they would be a little more sympathetic when it comes to our yearly reviews.

Sarah said...

I swear I put the end quote in there! Stupid blogger.

Croninski said...

Ding Ding. Love it. Middle child myself. Peacemaker (and as a side-effect of plenty of "on-the-job" family training, pretty GDMF-in' decent REAL problem-solver...). I too will happily fill all sorts of roles that other people shy away from - they seem to fear that people will assume them as having a "lowly" status for doing things, as opposed to just being f-in' helpful.
Out of all those capable in my small office, only a small handful will stoop to the "lowly" task of fetching a full 5-gallon water bottle when the bubbler runs dry.
Then stay thirsty you un-helpful futher muckers! (or learn that helping others is a natural human reaction)

Sarah said...

Croninski: Are you from the midwest? Only place I've heard a water fountain/cooler called a bubbler :)

The Silver Fox said...

I grew up in southern Massachusetts, and our schools had "bubblers."