OK. I knew this would happen. I hoped it wouldn't, but it did:
Reworked mortgages not working
Turns out that more than half of the delinquent homeowners who had their mortgages reworked thanks to the bailout are once again late on their payments.
May I just say:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH" (and not in a pirate way).
Listen: people who are losing their homes due to being unable or deciding not to pay their mortgages do not need to have their hands held and money given on their behalf. I know that citizens deserve to have a roof over their heads, but there are many, many options available. Get an apartment. Find a home that's not as expensive to pay for. Or, just pay your damned bills.
I have a mortgage and a home in constant need of repair. It costs a sh*tload to keep my family sheltered and warm. Yet, I make timely payments. How about reworking a mortgage for me? I will pay the premiums and you, Mr. Mortgage Lender, will still make a good amount of money off of my interest.
Just goes to show that if you're a citizen that does everything they're supposed to, you ultimately get overlooked. Instead of rewarding the people that do a good job, they instead help everyone who doesn't. It's that damned "no child left behind" hippy legislation that's behind this all, I tell you.
What about the adage, "give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll be darned sick of seafood and go looking for a handout so he can go get steak?"
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Don't Let Christmas Stop You
Ok. Christmas is my favorite time of year. But even with all that yuletide cheer and hohoho, I've no difficulty dredging up some cynicism. Where are my fellow cynics? Helllloooo. Are you out there? Put down that egg nog and let it rip.
A quick nugget of cynicism:
All you charities with your hand out.....Did you hear about the recent increase in unemployment, home foreclosures, and stock market woes? You are part of the problem. You keep sending notepads, stickers, and all that spam junk mail. STOP. You want to do some good? Save the paper and email me or just bugger off. If I want to donate to your cause, I know where to find you. And what EXACTLY are you doing with the donations you do get? Remember the chick who headed up the Amer. Red Cross and her salary? Yes, I said "salary". People who run charities should do it out of the kindness of their hearts. Donate their salary to their charity.
Mail order catalogs. See above. You're killing trees. You're using inks that have lead in them. If that won't stop you then consider that NOBODY wants popcorn as a Christmas present. NOBODY wants a rosemary tree with ribbons. Just. Stop.
Ok. That wasn't cynical. It was just a rant. Sue me.
Friday, December 5, 2008
From a Friend inspired by Amy and Sarah
A friend of mine was inspired by Amy and Sarah and has decided (via me) to share a co-worker story. Since the co-worker might actually read this blog, my friend has had to skimp on details so this will be a short one.
Co-worker says (after much sighing, moaning, and different annoying sounds): This is broken. I don't know why.
My Friend: What are the symptoms?
Co-worker: Blah blah blah broken.
My Friend: Did you check X?
Co-worker : Yeah yeah yeah, I checked X, Y, AND Z.
My Friend: Ok. So then it should be fine.
Co-worker: No. It's definitely broken.
My Friend: The only reason for that is because X is broken.
C0-worker vehemently insistent: No. Nope. No, I checked it and doublechecked it. It's 100% correct. X is fine.
My Friend: Do you want me to take a look at it?
C0-worker: If you don't mind.
My Friend definitely minds as this is the 1 zillionth time similar sitch has occurred.
1 minute later.
My Friend: X is broken. X has a typo.
Backstory:
Earlier that same week, Co-worker blamed a broken thing and the typo that caused it on the boss (let's call boss Hugo).
My Friend's response to the nameblamegame: Really? Hugo? Really? You're going to blame YOUR typo on Hugo?
Co-worker sheepishly: Well, if he hadn't typed the How To doc so oddly......
Co-worker says (after much sighing, moaning, and different annoying sounds): This is broken. I don't know why.
My Friend: What are the symptoms?
Co-worker: Blah blah blah broken.
My Friend: Did you check X?
Co-worker : Yeah yeah yeah, I checked X, Y, AND Z.
My Friend: Ok. So then it should be fine.
Co-worker: No. It's definitely broken.
My Friend: The only reason for that is because X is broken.
C0-worker vehemently insistent: No. Nope. No, I checked it and doublechecked it. It's 100% correct. X is fine.
My Friend: Do you want me to take a look at it?
C0-worker: If you don't mind.
My Friend definitely minds as this is the 1 zillionth time similar sitch has occurred.
1 minute later.
My Friend: X is broken. X has a typo.
Backstory:
Earlier that same week, Co-worker blamed a broken thing and the typo that caused it on the boss (let's call boss Hugo).
My Friend's response to the nameblamegame: Really? Hugo? Really? You're going to blame YOUR typo on Hugo?
Co-worker sheepishly: Well, if he hadn't typed the How To doc so oddly......
Seriously???????
A branch in my office hired someone to do all of their online generating lead forms. So this person should know what the internet is right? Right? RIGHT?
Email #1:
Hi Sarah, I’m working on a form for [coworkers name] and one of the questions has multiple possible answers. http://www.fakeform.com/
The two questions on the right of the page should allow for multiple radio button choices. Can you tell me how I can set that?
Thanks
Me: re-reading three times...looking at form 3-4 times...figure I must be reading something incorrectly.
My Response:
Why don’t you give me a call so we can talk more about this. I’m not sure I understand what you’re trying to accomplish.
Email #2 back (spelling errors and all):
Hi Sarah, I was really busy today but can cal tomorrow. I want to be able to allow multiple radio buttons selected to answer one question. I’ll call tomorrow.
Me: re-reading three times again. Deciding this person is plain idiot.
My Response:
Then you should use a check box question, not a radio button question.
Email #3:
Ah! Thanks.
Seriously?? WTF??
I should also say that she has been with us for over a year making forms, so she is NOT new.
Email #1:
Hi Sarah, I’m working on a form for [coworkers name] and one of the questions has multiple possible answers. http://www.fakeform.com/
The two questions on the right of the page should allow for multiple radio button choices. Can you tell me how I can set that?
Thanks
Me: re-reading three times...looking at form 3-4 times...figure I must be reading something incorrectly.
My Response:
Why don’t you give me a call so we can talk more about this. I’m not sure I understand what you’re trying to accomplish.
Email #2 back (spelling errors and all):
Hi Sarah, I was really busy today but can cal tomorrow. I want to be able to allow multiple radio buttons selected to answer one question. I’ll call tomorrow.
Me: re-reading three times again. Deciding this person is plain idiot.
My Response:
Then you should use a check box question, not a radio button question.
Email #3:
Ah! Thanks.
Seriously?? WTF??
I should also say that she has been with us for over a year making forms, so she is NOT new.
Network guy vs. development guy
Background: Offsite person has trouble hitting a report. (There's a screen with a clickable link on it.)
The conversation goes like this...
Development person: What address is that link going to?
Network person: 98
Development person: No, the web address
Network person: Yeah. 98. Well, I'm off Monday so maybe I can get back to it on Tuesday.
Development person: Cool. I can get back to Christmas shopping.
The conversation goes like this...
Development person: What address is that link going to?
Network person: 98
Development person: No, the web address
Network person: Yeah. 98. Well, I'm off Monday so maybe I can get back to it on Tuesday.
Development person: Cool. I can get back to Christmas shopping.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Now, Why Didn't I Think of That?
Texas man says God told him to ram other driver at 100 mph
Texan Michael E. Schwab said that the woman driving the sedan on U.S Route 281 near San Antonio "was not driving like a Christian" and that "God said ... she needed to be taken off the road,” according to the Bexar County Sheriff's Office.
So, Schwab, 52, of Blooming Grove, Texas, rear-ended the car with his pickup truck — at more than 100 mph, the San Antonio Express-News reports.
Though Schwab told deputies "God said she wasn't driving right" and "it was Jesus' will for him to punish the car,” he did not describe the other driver's alleged transgressions of the holy rules of the road. Deputies determined the unidentified 35-year-old woman “had done nothing wrong,” according to a news release.
Texan Michael E. Schwab said that the woman driving the sedan on U.S Route 281 near San Antonio "was not driving like a Christian" and that "God said ... she needed to be taken off the road,” according to the Bexar County Sheriff's Office.
So, Schwab, 52, of Blooming Grove, Texas, rear-ended the car with his pickup truck — at more than 100 mph, the San Antonio Express-News reports.
Though Schwab told deputies "God said she wasn't driving right" and "it was Jesus' will for him to punish the car,” he did not describe the other driver's alleged transgressions of the holy rules of the road. Deputies determined the unidentified 35-year-old woman “had done nothing wrong,” according to a news release.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Idiots - yes, you, BFers
In case u missed/avoided my earlier post.. BF = black friday shoppers.
Well, hope you're happy you losers who rushed out to buy a bunch of crapola that you did not need so that you could lock in the love of the people who have to tolerate you on a daily basis.
Wal-Mart worker dies after holiday shoppers knock him down
BTW, I told you so.
Being cynical doesn't make me a big enough person to NOT say I told you so. So, you know what, I'm going to say it twice. I told you so.
nice job BFers.
Well, hope you're happy you losers who rushed out to buy a bunch of crapola that you did not need so that you could lock in the love of the people who have to tolerate you on a daily basis.
Wal-Mart worker dies after holiday shoppers knock him down
BTW, I told you so.
Being cynical doesn't make me a big enough person to NOT say I told you so. So, you know what, I'm going to say it twice. I told you so.
nice job BFers.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Here comes "the veldt". I hope the lions are nice.
Pretty wild. check it out. http://oblong.com/
The interface/interaction is very cool, but the obvious thing is that to utilize this stuff you have to completely change the way "data" (whatever it may be) is stored, handled, & viewed. "Shift your paradigm" to use and over-used phrase. Good thing "kids" are such insane early adopters. I think my generation may actually be limited in our ability to conceive the possible ueses. Cartoons were only on Saturday morning. TV went off the air at midnight. You only had 5-6 or channels depending on where you lived. So many things were finite, boxed and boundaried (bound?, whatev..).
Ironically it makes me immediately think of the "blu-ray vs. HD-DVD" monologue by the Kevin Sandusky (Jay Baruchel) character in "Tropic Thunder" (which I gotta say is actually a pretty damn good movie, very funny. Yes, takes some shots, but not completely retarded ones..<---[yes, cloaked joke] And Tom Cruise deserves an Oscar - seriously).
Anyway.. he gives this speech about how technology battles are decided by ...the porn industry, with a nod to gamers. (although I've read the Porn clan ain't such fans of HD at all - razor stubble is much more palatable in SD). SO I suppose to really imagine the possibilities, you have to ask "what would PORN do?"
Nonetheless, a very cool demo on their homepage. Combine this with the "coming soon" (next ten years) super-cheap OLED wallpaper you’ll be able to coat the walls floor & ceiling of a room with - Shazam! that Star Trek holodeck ain't so sci-FI any more, more like My-Sci...
And if you're thinking "oh kev, you're so cool, you can read slashdot". Well thanks for playing. I am cool.
Also - you have to catch Guv'nah Palin(comparison to anyone else) giving an interview. She just "pardoned" a turkey, so she gives an interview... in front of a guy slaughtering turkeys...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-kjM1asH-8
If you can't stomach the whole thing, jump to 1:50 and watch the bird kick & struggle while she just palavers on , blah-blah-blabbity-blah. Is she really that dumb, or is this a visceral threat? "I'll cut ya! Just try me...".
The interface/interaction is very cool, but the obvious thing is that to utilize this stuff you have to completely change the way "data" (whatever it may be) is stored, handled, & viewed. "Shift your paradigm" to use and over-used phrase. Good thing "kids" are such insane early adopters. I think my generation may actually be limited in our ability to conceive the possible ueses. Cartoons were only on Saturday morning. TV went off the air at midnight. You only had 5-6 or channels depending on where you lived. So many things were finite, boxed and boundaried (bound?, whatev..).
Ironically it makes me immediately think of the "blu-ray vs. HD-DVD" monologue by the Kevin Sandusky (Jay Baruchel) character in "Tropic Thunder" (which I gotta say is actually a pretty damn good movie, very funny. Yes, takes some shots, but not completely retarded ones..<---[yes, cloaked joke] And Tom Cruise deserves an Oscar - seriously).
Anyway.. he gives this speech about how technology battles are decided by ...the porn industry, with a nod to gamers. (although I've read the Porn clan ain't such fans of HD at all - razor stubble is much more palatable in SD). SO I suppose to really imagine the possibilities, you have to ask "what would PORN do?"
Nonetheless, a very cool demo on their homepage. Combine this with the "coming soon" (next ten years) super-cheap OLED wallpaper you’ll be able to coat the walls floor & ceiling of a room with - Shazam! that Star Trek holodeck ain't so sci-FI any more, more like My-Sci...
And if you're thinking "oh kev, you're so cool, you can read slashdot". Well thanks for playing. I am cool.
Also - you have to catch Guv'nah Palin(comparison to anyone else) giving an interview. She just "pardoned" a turkey, so she gives an interview... in front of a guy slaughtering turkeys...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-kjM1asH-8
If you can't stomach the whole thing, jump to 1:50 and watch the bird kick & struggle while she just palavers on , blah-blah-blabbity-blah. Is she really that dumb, or is this a visceral threat? "I'll cut ya! Just try me...".
Governor Patrick Just Called Us Dumb
http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D94I8AI00.htm
"We are awash in cynicism in the commonwealth, but the cynical are not smart; they're just pretending to be," Patrick said.
Sorry, Governor. Cynics can, in fact, be smart. The reason why we are cynical is because we can see through your ridiculous rhetoric and bullsh*t. Fact is, not everyone in the Commonwealth is part of the heard, blindly lead along by government officials. We can, and will, make our points known and show the elected officials that it's good to question authority. Especially when they're doing a crap job.
Maybe it's Governors who have totally inane slogans such as, "Together we can", who are "not smart" and "just pretending to be". I mean, what the f*** does that mean, anyway? You're missing a verb, there, Gov.
Try your best not to make such idiotic blanket statements. Especially if you want to be part of the Obama administration. Admit it, you're sitting by your phone.
The reason behind this statement is people are questioning the concept of Patrick's administration closing down the Mass Turnpike Authority, doing away with tolls outside of the 128 loop, and raising tolls in Boston to help fairly pay for the Big Dig. Also, the concept of raising the Mass. gasoline tax has been suggested.
Let me ask you, Governor Patrick: why, exactly, are you shocked at the cynical responses to these ideas? Did you know that every governor we've had since the Turnpike Authority was created has promised to get rid of the tolls? The tolls were originally set up to pay for the Turnpike. The payment was complete many, many years ago. The tolls remain. Why? Because it's an excellent source of income for the commonwealth. I'm frankly shocked they haven't put up tolls along 128, 93 or Newbury Street (hey, why not...it's all ludicrous).
To put it bluntly, we don't believe you. We think you will increase the toll amounts, and pass the gas (hee) tax. And somehow...somehow...those tolls marked for removal will remain.
Governor Patrick, isn't it possible that those "cynics" out there are, in fact, intelligent and you're just frustrated that they're disagreeing with your statements? Would you prefer a bovine America where we all just stare at you with large, vacuous eyes while you march us up the ramp to the slaughterhouse? If so, I have some disappointing news for you...
"We are awash in cynicism in the commonwealth, but the cynical are not smart; they're just pretending to be," Patrick said.
Sorry, Governor. Cynics can, in fact, be smart. The reason why we are cynical is because we can see through your ridiculous rhetoric and bullsh*t. Fact is, not everyone in the Commonwealth is part of the heard, blindly lead along by government officials. We can, and will, make our points known and show the elected officials that it's good to question authority. Especially when they're doing a crap job.
Maybe it's Governors who have totally inane slogans such as, "Together we can", who are "not smart" and "just pretending to be". I mean, what the f*** does that mean, anyway? You're missing a verb, there, Gov.
Try your best not to make such idiotic blanket statements. Especially if you want to be part of the Obama administration. Admit it, you're sitting by your phone.
The reason behind this statement is people are questioning the concept of Patrick's administration closing down the Mass Turnpike Authority, doing away with tolls outside of the 128 loop, and raising tolls in Boston to help fairly pay for the Big Dig. Also, the concept of raising the Mass. gasoline tax has been suggested.
Let me ask you, Governor Patrick: why, exactly, are you shocked at the cynical responses to these ideas? Did you know that every governor we've had since the Turnpike Authority was created has promised to get rid of the tolls? The tolls were originally set up to pay for the Turnpike. The payment was complete many, many years ago. The tolls remain. Why? Because it's an excellent source of income for the commonwealth. I'm frankly shocked they haven't put up tolls along 128, 93 or Newbury Street (hey, why not...it's all ludicrous).
To put it bluntly, we don't believe you. We think you will increase the toll amounts, and pass the gas (hee) tax. And somehow...somehow...those tolls marked for removal will remain.
Governor Patrick, isn't it possible that those "cynics" out there are, in fact, intelligent and you're just frustrated that they're disagreeing with your statements? Would you prefer a bovine America where we all just stare at you with large, vacuous eyes while you march us up the ramp to the slaughterhouse? If so, I have some disappointing news for you...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
When Black Friday Comes with a Black Mood
What is wrong with people? Not all people but most people. And ESPECIALLY those people who partake of Black Friday (BFers from hereonin).
I feel like Scrooge McTavish when I mine the depths of my irritation, aggravation, anger, dismay and disdain for Black Friday and the BFers.
Is there anything on this planet that merits getting up at an ungodly hour, driving to a shopping mecca/mega center and then elbowing/shoving/pushing just to save X%. An X% that rarely equals the sales tax on said object.
A woman was crushed, maimed and then oh yeah, killed by other psycho BFers at a Walmart because they were all waiting in line for $25 DVD players. When the doors opened, they rushed in, she was crushed, felled and was stepped on. Nice work BFers. Enjoy those DVD players.
Have you seen the Wrenthan Common Outlet mega miles long backup Fox news has been showing each night on the news? I've been to WCO. There is NOTHING at any of those shops that any of us NEED. And the bargains? Ha. Such a joke. The clothing at the major designers is all second tier stuff. The stitching is embarrassing and the quality is laughable.
I admit that my own brood were at the WCO a few weekends ago. We went for a walk and acquried some baby goods as we don't have many baby stores near us. Frankly, the people I saw scared me. We sat feeding the boys and watching the women stream into Coach (having a 50% off sale). Can I just say that buying and carrying a Coach bag will not cover up for that 50lbs of fat you have. A beautiful bag does not make you a beautiful person. We saw roughly 75 women go in and out. Here are a few more nuggets of advice for those ladies: Coach bags will not: make you look younger, or hotter, or skinnier. Coach bags will not make your voice any less shrill. Coach bags won't stop your husband/boyfriend from cheating on you. Coach bags will hold your wallet. Coach bags will get stolen if left unattended. Coach bags purchased at WCO on a sale will not last as long as the ones you purchase from the REAL Coach store and pay full price for.
Don't hand me any "wait till your kids want that 'special' xmas toy." Are you saying that when your kids say "jump" you say "how high"? Grow a pair, will you?
When my kids start asking, and I know they will, I'll be honest and say "Perhaps. But sometimes we don't always get what we want."
I love my kids. I want them to know I love them by the things I say and do every day. One wintery day and a few things wrapped in paper are not a summation of my love and I hope that they never are.
Black Friday is ready for retirement. What if there was a Black Friday and nobody came? Nobody cared? How wonderful. What if everyone stayed home and drank cider/cocoa/tea/bourbon and cuddled with their love ones? Or took a walk or donated time to a food kitchen. I could go on.
But why bother. I know I won't change the mind of you committed BFers.
Good luck buying the love of others on BF.
I feel like Scrooge McTavish when I mine the depths of my irritation, aggravation, anger, dismay and disdain for Black Friday and the BFers.
Is there anything on this planet that merits getting up at an ungodly hour, driving to a shopping mecca/mega center and then elbowing/shoving/pushing just to save X%. An X% that rarely equals the sales tax on said object.
A woman was crushed, maimed and then oh yeah, killed by other psycho BFers at a Walmart because they were all waiting in line for $25 DVD players. When the doors opened, they rushed in, she was crushed, felled and was stepped on. Nice work BFers. Enjoy those DVD players.
Have you seen the Wrenthan Common Outlet mega miles long backup Fox news has been showing each night on the news? I've been to WCO. There is NOTHING at any of those shops that any of us NEED. And the bargains? Ha. Such a joke. The clothing at the major designers is all second tier stuff. The stitching is embarrassing and the quality is laughable.
I admit that my own brood were at the WCO a few weekends ago. We went for a walk and acquried some baby goods as we don't have many baby stores near us. Frankly, the people I saw scared me. We sat feeding the boys and watching the women stream into Coach (having a 50% off sale). Can I just say that buying and carrying a Coach bag will not cover up for that 50lbs of fat you have. A beautiful bag does not make you a beautiful person. We saw roughly 75 women go in and out. Here are a few more nuggets of advice for those ladies: Coach bags will not: make you look younger, or hotter, or skinnier. Coach bags will not make your voice any less shrill. Coach bags won't stop your husband/boyfriend from cheating on you. Coach bags will hold your wallet. Coach bags will get stolen if left unattended. Coach bags purchased at WCO on a sale will not last as long as the ones you purchase from the REAL Coach store and pay full price for.
Don't hand me any "wait till your kids want that 'special' xmas toy." Are you saying that when your kids say "jump" you say "how high"? Grow a pair, will you?
When my kids start asking, and I know they will, I'll be honest and say "Perhaps. But sometimes we don't always get what we want."
I love my kids. I want them to know I love them by the things I say and do every day. One wintery day and a few things wrapped in paper are not a summation of my love and I hope that they never are.
Black Friday is ready for retirement. What if there was a Black Friday and nobody came? Nobody cared? How wonderful. What if everyone stayed home and drank cider/cocoa/tea/bourbon and cuddled with their love ones? Or took a walk or donated time to a food kitchen. I could go on.
But why bother. I know I won't change the mind of you committed BFers.
Good luck buying the love of others on BF.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)